I QUIT!!! A Plus Size Woman’s Quit Smoking Journey – Entry 1

May 12, 2015 I decided to quit smoking. My husband has been asking, begging me for 4 years now to quit, and I just didn’t know how. That’s the honest truth. Unless you’re a smoker or used to be a smoker, you don’t understand how devastatingly addictive and consuming this drug really is and that smokers just don’t know where to start or how to quit. They do not believe they have the mental fortitude required to successfully quit.

I bought two weeks worth of Stage 1 Patches (21 mg of nicotine dispensed within a 24 hour period) and one week worth of Stage 2 Patches (14 mg).  

For the first 10 days or so, I had one cigarette per day, or one and a half, and just kept telling myself that as long as I didn’t buy a pack, I would be ok. Don’t buy a pack. Don’t buy a pack. Buying a pack signified to me that I would have failed. Then I went a few days straight without having a cigarette at all, and found those days extremely challenging. My every waking thought was of having a cigarette. I would fantasize about buying a pack. Having 25 whole cigarettes at my disposal. Delicious. Sick, but so enticing. But I didn’t give in. I would listen to Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking Audiobook like it was a lifeline. In my car, before going to sleep. Whenever I could without disrupting work or daily duties.


On Saturday May 30 I was at an event and it was hot, hectic, stressful and a woman near me said she was going outside for a cigarette. I muted all voices in my head saying why I shouldn’t, and tuned up the volume on the one voice, albeit the ever-powerful nicotine monster voice telling me why I should and why one was ok. I smoked it. The nasty cig gave me a bit of a head rush, and I gotta say I enjoyed it. But during the long drive home I felt disappointed in myself, weak, and like a failure.

Allen refers to the addiction (and I use the word ‘addiction’ here very intentionally, because it’s not a ‘habit’, as its commonly referred to in order to diminish it’s perilous nature) as a “nicotine monster” in your stomach that needs to be fed. While I thought that having only one per day was a huge improvement over 20-25 per day, all I was doing was drip feeding the nicotine monster and keeping it alive. I thought that by sticking to my mantra of not buying a pack, but still smoking one here and there, that I could still consider myself as a successful quitter. But that’s a lie. I need to starve that fucking monster to death. Allen stresses the fact that ‘there is no such thing as ONE cigarette’. All one cigarette does is make you want another cigarette.

It’s a chain reaction.

I was fooling myself into thinking that having one per day was somehow satisfying, but all I wanted was another in the evening, the next morning, after dinner, while driving on a sunny morning to work. It’s a chain reaction, period.

So I clicked on “I smoked” in my handy stop smoking smart phone app (“Butt Out”), and to my dismay it reset my start date to that very day. So the previous X number of days that I had been 100% smoke free just went up in, uh, smoke. My carbon monoxide, circulation, lung health, and all other health trackers went back to zero progress. While it’s just a few stats on an app, it was devastating to me because it seemed like all those days where I worked so hard to resist were in vain. 


And so it begins again. Later that evening, I showered after my long exhausting day, and settled down with the book and some candles, determined again to fortify my resolve.


I’ve also joined a Facebook group called Quit Smoking Support – there are many of them so you just need to pick one that maintains a positive environment. Another technique that helps me get through cravings is helping and inspiring others. I read their posts and comment, engage in conversations with people who are considering quitting or who have successfully quit for any length of time.

FOOD! Let’s talk about food. As a plus size woman, who admittedly loves her carbs and sweets, the fear that I would want to eat everything in sight was REAL. So how am I dealing with that? Well, I think being AWARE is the most important thing, and stocking the fridge with healthy, natural snacks is essential. And healthy snacks have so many other benefits too. Read more on foods that can help with the quit and provide wonderful benefits too. For me, it’s pineapple – they truly are the fruit of the Gods. 


So this morning, a beautiful sunny Tuesday June 2, I received this gift from one of my customers and fans, Louise Vokins from Renew Life Canada. 


A smoker’s cleanse supplement regimen, designed to “curb cravings, deal with stress, and support the lungs”. Such a lovely, thoughtful and generous gesture on her part. I started right away and I’ll share updates on my progress with this product. 

Side note: Louise is also a representative of YouNique Beauty Products, namely the amazing YouNique Fiber Lashes which I personally use and highly recommend. 

Contact Louise here:

Facebook: Mascara Mama

Instagram: @mascaramama

3x wow

And for more inspiration, check this out on the amazing things that start happening to your body RIGHT AWAY when you quit smoking. So here’s to 2 days, 16 hours and 27 minutes completely, 100% smoke free and to many, many, many more.

Copyright SassyPlus 2015 – All rights reserved.

2 thoughts on “I QUIT!!! A Plus Size Woman’s Quit Smoking Journey – Entry 1

  1. You definitely can do this, Stephanie!! I know how hard it is, but once you set your mind to it, you can do it!! I smoked for 28 years, 1.5 packs a day – I quit Sept 25, 1993 and have never looked back! I understood right from the start that I’m 1 cigarette away from being a smoker again! YaY to being a non-smoker!!


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